“Do you want me to sugar coat this or do you want me to shoot you straight?”
Many moons ago, in the 3rd year of a horribly failing business, the business consultants and coaches we hired shocked us into reality with this question.
“Well, of COURSE we want you to shoot us straight!!!,” we said. But did we reeeeally want to hear it!?
(for those who are like “Who’s we?”: this was me and my ex-husband in November 2008.)
🤔
In that moment, it hit us that if we didn’t drastically change everything we were doing, we were going to close. And we were looking at $100,000s of debt that could plunge us into bankruptcy. (My framed Harvard paper, the one that classified me as having “made it,” wasn’t going to save me here.)
We desperately needed them to shoot us straight.
- What the heck were we doing wrong?
- And PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, help us through this nightmare so we can actually become successful.
Although my ex and I parted ways in 2014, we worked with these consultants throughout rest of the 6 years I was part of the business. Refusing to accept anything but straight talk and accountability for continuous improvement caused our business to skyrocket. We doubled our revenue 5X.
(Take your monthly income. Double it 5 times. See what I am talking about. It’s almost unbelievable.)
12 years later, their question still sticks with me.
I make sure that, when I am looking to make a big move, I work with people that shoot me straight. Hold me accountable. This is my normal.
But now that I am asking people the question too, I realize that people SAY they want me to shoot them straight, but many really don’t. (This is human nature. Check out Plato’s “The Cave.”)
When people contact me on Linkedin with how to land a Scrum Master role, I desperately want to help them. (I mean, gosh dang it, I create free content out the wahzoo to try to help people. If that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will!)
I tell them my story, then what I did to get around the roadblocks of people not wanting to give me a chance. But often, months later, I see some STILL doing the same things as before. Even though I gave them great advice, like some of Plato’s cave-dwellers, they’d rather go back in and not deal with the blinding light.
Maybe they really just wanted someone to listen. Or give them a “tip or trick” that was going to be a silver bullet. And when that didn’t happen, they moved on. What I suggested was too much work, so they didn’t believe me.
But the truth will set you free, folks.
Through all of this, I have learned that, as much as I want to, I cannot help people in a 30 min conversation. Or going back and forth on Linkedin messages. Which is why I have created two new career strategy services to actually help people get results.
Although people always try to go the free route (and I totally get that), there is a reason that coaches and consultants charge money for services. And it has nothing to do with being greedy. Or trying to swindle you. And in Nov 2008, I had to learn to let that fearful story go.
My ex and I scraped a few hundred dollars together, signed a SOW contract with these consultants (which we were scared to do BTW), but that made us show up and do the work.
I know that if I didn’t fork over cash, there was no real accountability there. I would find a way NOT to listen to what they said and easily dismiss it as “well they don’t really know me.” And, as a result, nothing would change. (And where in the HELL would I be now?)
Like me, you need to decide too. In order for you to change your career trajectory you have to:
- Commit to changing what is not working. Even if it is scary and uncertain.
- Skillfully change people’s perception of you, starting with changing your perception of yourself.
And all of that takes strategy and accountability.